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Jokes from category:

The Countess at the ball to being drunk in Tabagan ruskomu, which muddies the second hour:__- Lieutenant, why don't you look for morality? __- ?__- I say why didn't you blule morality? __- ? __- I am sure that you will not be blue.. blue.. blue..__
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Husband arguing with his wife.__Wife:__- All my life you spent in vain. Well what are you good in my life did I have bought a car? Abroad were brought? Lousy the our pavilion presented? At least the repairs in the apartment normal did?__Husband:__- do you? I made good?__Not finding arguments and looking at a bunch of children:__- Well, gave several times...
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Black cat crosses your way, means that the animal somewhere in a hurry.
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So, all in the toilet. And there closed man already 15 minutes sitting. People start to get nervous. Here from one booth can be heard singing. Turn in shock. Grandfather that stood nearest him, knocking into the booth and asks:__- my Dear, what are you doing there?__And in response from behind the door:__- nothing to Read, here are the notes found....__Pipets, all went....
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The little boy in the bathroom bathed.__Long he frolicked and played...__Mother crept robe rustling,__Bang stick and no baby.__
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A guy goes into a bar and says:__- Give me 10 cups of your best whiskey.__The barman he pours. The man puts them in a row and starts __quickly quaff one after the other. The bartender asks:__ " please Excuse me, but why do you drink?__Man:__- would you have so much money, and you would drink.__- And how much money you have, if not a secret?__Man (drinking up my last Cup): __- 50 cents.__
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There are two new Russians, one says:__- Vovan! My son was born!__- Class! And how is called?__- The us dollar.__- Why?__- That grew faster!__
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Husband comes home and says to his wife with a smile:__- And I've been fired!__- I have not understood, what is it you are happy-then this?__- And the other planted.
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In the hospital meet a friend uncle. In hospital pajamas. While waiting for the Elevator, got to talking. Lies with some complex heart disease. Kind, and true,well sooo group) is bad. Ask him:__- You on what floor? In therapy or surgery?__And he calmly:__- Dak I'm in intensive care lying. Just to smoke out while the nurse does not see.__Said, "Well, bye" and went. In intensive care!!!
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From the conversation of lovers: __- with One hand I held your picture, and the other thought of you! __
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Lived once before near ChNPP wolf, a pig and a bear. And they were friends. But, accident, omnipresent panic, in the end, the friendship ended. And 20 years later, by chance, met friends, talking and so on And so came to the topic of mutations: one after the Chernobyl accident has changed. Bear (M) says: __- I Have the stomach has changed so much that I have everything now can have! Takes zhmenyu the ground and in the mouth! And chews satisfied. __Horn says: __- But I became very active in terms of reproduction! All kabanikha in the woods - my! And the advantage of my increased to 50 cm! __Wolf, listening, says: __- But I know how to conjure! __Animals in shock: "How?" __- Yes, that's it! says wolf. Only magic is my special! The horn, you can have 3 wishes granted, but since bear your friend, he can think of only one thing. And again, everything you make, the bear will get 10 times more! __- I want my dignity increased by 100 cm! - thinks of a boar. __The pig executed a will, and bear with vyleplennymi stares at 10 meters. __Looks pylon: ugly somehow. Long, but thin. Says: __- I Want my dignity increased in diameter by 20 cm! __The bear looks at his torpedo length of 10m and a width of 2 m __But lustful mind boar again prevails: __- I Want always stood! __Here bear in terror, looking up, trying to find the top of the "tower", and doomed, says: __- I Have two options: either supports to make, so as not to blow off, or the lighthouse at the top, so that the planes do not cut.
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A drunk man sits in the taxi. The taxi driver asks: " where You going? - What's it to you?
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The little boy fell from neboskreba were tears and there was a coffin.And disturbing horror stories tipaza will tell you - that was the first floor!
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New Russian went to crows on Teplokhod.__Disaster, shipwreck. All left on a desert island. Passes three or four days, they want to eat. Decided to draw lots, and someone to eat. The lot falls on a young girl and eat her. After a day or two again want to eat. They cast lots and the lot falls on new Russian. Come to him guys, so and so, you know, the lot fell on you.__- Yes are you guys seriously, what?__Screams new Russian.__- Yes more serious, you want to eat, not to saginata all.__New Russian takes out from his pocket, cell phone and says:__- Hey, Serge, bro, come on a certain island helicopter with meat, helicopter with bread and skilly.__The men, startled, said:__- what are you? We girl ate!__- Men - meets new Russian, " I thought this is a part of the cruise!__
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How to make a guy cry?__Write to him:"what about sex without commitment?!" __And then add : "Oops... not you!
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